An assorted candyboxfull of my thoughts....
| Monday, June 09, 2008 |
| Mindlessness |
God made us as a gift to earth
He made our minds as a gift for each of us,
but problems and worry have hurt my using this gift
These days my life is filled only with worry and sorrow
Food has lost its taste,
All decisions are made in haste,
I feel like my soul is caged,
like they're irking me to get enraged.
Happiness is like an impossible prize,
that runs further and further away
no matter how much I try to catch.
It hurts every step I take
to make amends and rid this godforsaken sorrow
but only to slip further into this quicksand.
I can but try and try but i'm failing,
no longer happy, always crying,
now I sought the help I need
to get me out of this vicious circle
onto my feet solidly
Let her examine my head,
maybe this is what I need;
to live once again....... |
posted by MandarinDreams @ 7:07 pm  |
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| Friday, March 28, 2008 |
| Trust me for I am true |
Love is a coveted prize,
not all of us have the luck of be chosen,
it is a beautiful creature,
wrought with her own personalities,
she can make you cry till your heart hurts so much you'd rather be dead,
she can make you smile without reason,
she can make you hate you're human,
she can turn your life into a place worse than hell.
But, she is worthless having if.........
you dont trust.
Trust is when you know in your heart and in your head,
the other can never even when apart from oneself,
ever cheat or betray you.
But when you dont trust me,
how can you claim to love me.
When you, the angel I hold close to my heart,
are the one stabbing my chest,
what reason do I have to believe you're true?
When you love truly without limit,
you dont dare doubt your lover's fidelity.
But my love never trusted me,
the tears I have shed from my bleeding heart,
to reply to his harsh, disbelieving words.
Never have I loved anyone so much,
but even when you have such unconditional love,
most dont value its limitlss and growing nature.
When thrown away, it dies, it dies the death of a million stars,
it rips every bit of the heart that holds it.
If only he understood, how purely I have loved him,
he would not be able to repay my tears when god puts him on the stand.
They say every tear you make a loved one cry,
you have to suffer and burn without death in the fire of hell,
I dont wish such a fate for one I love so deeply,
but pay he will for treating me worse than the dirt under his feet.
My love is not up for sale, its not a rag doll.......
Dont dare hurt me again, I forgive once for my most loved,
I have forgiven u manyfold, but I wont anymore.
I'm no saint, I dont forgive endlessly.....
Love is forever, if you care for it.......
Still I love you..... |
| posted by MandarinDreams @ 9:37 pm |
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| Monday, March 03, 2008 |
| A Daydream for me |
I sit deep in thought these days,
of so many things,
but you my angel always part all those things and sit in front of me.
What is it abut your words,
your love, your persistence that makes me so high?
When I hear your soft whispering,
it lights up my very being,
I have never felt this wanted, this passionate,
You give me a thousand kisses in full, each sparking off a tidal wave in me
Love is immeasurable, and ours is forever growing.
Every song I sing I sing for you,
every breath I take has your name on it,
you have invaded my soul, filled my heart with your tiny pleasures
Every beat of my heart tells me that day draws near;
when I will hold you in my arms and just let my fears flow away,
when you will be mine for real and know that we won the fight.
I smile to myself, I can feel this world spin under my feet,
rising up and up till I can feel the clouds on my face,
As I feel my wings catch the breeze I can hear yours swiftly beating next to me.
You caress, you fuss over me, and know when I'm missing you.
How is it we know exactly when we're thinking of each other,
why is it I no longer feel angry at anything,
what magic has this love done on us,
Love has made us inseparable,
made life's thorns blunt, and so much stronger..........
I dont mind being called crazy, coz I am, for you
I got eyes only for you, close them and I see you smiling at me
You make me hot step in the middle of the road,
making others dance with me.
I'm not scared anymore.
I belong to you now, only you,
I dont care a damn for anyone else,
They never realized your worth, but I do.
You're perfect and thats that.
What started as a friendship became love,
and I have not been happier ever that it happened.
I love you my angel,
forever and further beyond.......
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| posted by MandarinDreams @ 8:47 pm |
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| Friday, February 29, 2008 |
| Speechless....... |
Angels on earth, I thought it impossible;
the hurt, the pain, it all made me blind.
I know that this isn't rhyming,
but frankly I dont care.
I fell in love last week,
with a winged demon hardly meek,
I fell for so many things including all the words he spoke,
his graphic descriptions, his loving renditions,
an angel and a devil mixed in one.
His passion I admire, desire and wish to acquire;
he pulled me out of my shell in a moment,
rattled off a vernacular sonnet,
and then danced with me through the night.
His honesty I love,
though at times harsh on my sensitive soul.
His voice is like a gurgling stream,
making my heart flutter like a thousand kisses on my breast.
A misery so sweet, I want it forever.
Its hard to fight with the one I love so much,
one who I have yet to touch,
I have not seen nor touched my loved one yet you Realize.
I thought such a bond was fairy-tale,
I dont know how it will prevail,
but I would try my best, to pass the test, of time.
Love is a crime I enjoy to commit,
but few understand its plans,
it is filled with tears, with pain, with affection, with touch of mind and body.....
He is not perfect, nor am I, but his love feels true......
He's my angel, I am his,
Love me forever will you?
I will be honest, I will be true.
Forever yours....... My king |
| posted by MandarinDreams @ 12:01 am |
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| Sunday, August 19, 2007 |
| silence of the flowers |
I know you laugh at me,
I know you hate my guts,
I know you talk dirty about me all you assholes,
But you know what........
I am not letting you tear my life apart!
I know you look at me like some lamb,
I know you just want to kill me ,
I know you think you can break my heart,
But you know what........
You can't do squat and you ain't worth more!
I know you insulted my friendship,
I know you hate that I'm better than you,
I know you think I will not fight back and that I'll stay under your dirty sole,
But you know what.......
I will soon have all your heads on a long, sharp pole!
I know you take me to be stupid,
I know you think I will let you cut me,
I know all you want is my sadness to eat me little by little,
But you know what.......
I ain't so brittle, I'm all holy blessed Imperial Indestructible metal!
So here I am, every inch of me,
I'm bruised I'm dented, but not broken
I am lovelorn, but I will have my love one day
I bleed, I'm human, but my blood will make me learn,
I may fall, I may cry, I may complain
But you know what........
No matter how much pain, oh bastard vain,
I will rise once again to whip your sorry ass with a weathered cane! |
| posted by MandarinDreams @ 1:10 am |
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| Wednesday, May 16, 2007 |
| A Tribute to Soumitro Sarkar |
Srishti was the new beginning for me,
he was like a bright star in a dark, gloomy sky.
In a college where I found it hard to fit in,
he was the first friend I made.
Unlike any teacher, he was a confidant first,
unflinching support and an amazing guide.
In teaching, everyone got equal time and his full attention,
he taught me to see from inside,
whether I remember anyone or anything else or not,
his loving and gentle way of teaching all of us will always remain with me.
To this day I remember,
there were times when my loneliness had the better of me,
he always found a way to make me smile,
his friendship I miss very much these days,
Those whose lives he saved when the earth swallowed so many others,
to this day each of the 27 remember.
He paid an unfair price for going good,
I will not forgive that god,
who took him away from us so soon,
by giving him a slow, excruciating death.
"Soumitro Sarkar was an award winning illustrator, especially of childrens' books. His love for his students, his one to one teaching methods, sweet temperament and bubbly personality will always be remembered by all those who have had the good fortune of being taught by him. He always was involved with each of us at an emotional level and was more of a best friend than a teacher to us. In him I found someone I trusted very much, and felt very comfortable discussing my fears, confusion, happiness and sadness. He is one of the main reasons I realised my own skills, he was convinced of my capabilities and always pushed me to strive to develop my skills and discover myself.
He died of lung cancer shortly after he saved us from the rubble in the Gujarat earthquake, we all miss him around. He is survived by his wife and son. Here's to you Soumitro, may your soul rest in peace."
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| posted by MandarinDreams @ 4:56 pm |
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| Monday, May 14, 2007 |
| Ants walking all over my brain |
Somehow things feel different today,
maybe the day is different, maybe I am,
I don't feel poetic but I do feel prolific,
and specific, maybe not as quick, but slick,
I met a schmuck, and he got me stuck in a muck, that schmuck
what can I call it, rotten luck?
Anyway, my works are gummed,
I feel bummed, and this whole situation was rummy from the start,
like a festering wart, but what can I say,
I'm a sucker for sad stories, sharing others' worries.
Its the achilles heel of my life.
But not to be undone, here I went,
hellbent on getting my mind so spent,
that I would have to relent to sleep and forget the whole thing.
At my haunt, amethyst, the scene of this glorious crime against crime,
the time had come, to put the salt to the lime and climb outta the tequila bottle!!
A chamomile tea and sandwich is all it took,
to settle my harried mind, to loosen that mental bind,
enough to let me breathe a little easier.
Felt good to soak the sun's radiant warmth,
while listening to sounds I missed for so long;
the sound of parrots winging it from branch to branch,
and the glorious sight of cats making that launch from trees to earth,
to revel in nature's lap, for just a while.
Gaia, she made me beautiful, she made me intelligent,
I miss being in her heart, walking with her like I used to,
those years of playing hide-n-seek with her among the banyan trees,
chasing the rabbits across the plush green grassy gardens,
blowing fog rings in the early morning with mist wetting my nose.
The memories are fresh like yesterday in my mind,
if I didn't have their kind, I would have not survived this insane world.
It changed somehow, today was different,
maybe it was me, or maybe it was the giant rubber band ball!!!
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| posted by MandarinDreams @ 8:21 pm |
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